Lost In Myself
by Kate74
Summary: Ephram breaks down after a fight with Andy


Disclaimers: Nothing's mine blah blah blah I own nothing blah blah blah ........ I'm depressing myself  
  
Author's Note: Okay you guys I have no idea where I'm going with this just something that popped into my head. Let me know if you think its good, bad, whether I should even bother or not......anyways the scene right now is in the Browns kitchen father and son are at it again and.......go!  
  
  
  
Lost in Myself  
  
  
  
  
  
"I just don't understand what causes you to act like this Ephram!", Dr. Andrew Brown screamed at his son.  
  
"Act like what?!", the teenager screamed back.  
  
"So...so hostile. One minute you're fine and the next you're so angry. I just don't understand it!"  
  
"Yeah, well you've never understood much of anything about me now have you?!"  
  
"You never gave me the chance to!", Andy retorted.  
  
"I never gave you the chance to?", Ephram screamed incredulously, "You never took the chance! Always so busy 'The Great Doctor Brown' worked through my childhood!"  
  
"And there's nothing I regret more Ephram, don't you see that?", Andy said now pleading with his son. "I wish that I could go back and change things, but I can't."  
  
"I know." Ephram sighed, frustrated.  
  
"I just don't get it. Then why do you continue to behave like this?"  
  
"Why does anyone do anything?", Ephram asked dryly.  
  
"Why won't you tell me?"  
  
"No, really think about it Dad. What is the greatest motivator?", his voice rising again.  
  
"What are you talking about? I don't know."  
  
"Well, why don't you take a stab at it ! Give it a try!" Ephram yelled.  
  
"Ephram," Andy stated, "Why don't you calm down? Sit down and we can talk this out."  
  
"No! You don't get to be the sane rational one this time Dad! You aren't escaping this time. The answer's fear. Fear, Dad!"  
  
"What?" Andy questioned very confused. " I don't get it. You're afraid, afraid of what?"  
  
"You know what forget it," Ephram said suddenly regretting his words and found himself desperately wanting out of this conversation.  
  
"No, you can't run away from your problems Ephram. Talk to me, what are you afraid of?"  
  
"I don't know." Ephram looked his father pleading with him to drop it, to just let it be.  
  
"I'm not going to play this game with you anymore Ephram!" Andy shouted, his frustration getting the better of him. "You're going to tell me!"  
  
"I can't," Ephram said, his voice barely above a whisper.  
  
"Yes! You can!"  
  
"No I can't," Ephram glanced at his father, his tears started to fall, and he quickly averted his gaze. "It hurts too much."  
  
"And you think this is easy for me!", Andy screamed oblivious to his son's pain. Ephram regained some of his defensiveness, "It's a hell of a lot easier for you." Sighing he slid down the wall his head resting on his knees.  
  
"Ephram just tell me. Let go of whatever it is you're holding on to."  
  
" I can't." Ephram whispered his voice shaking, " I can't.", he reapeated himself more strongly. Andy completely lost whatever patience he had left, as well as his temper. "Dammit Ephram!", he yelled.Whirling around he grabbed a glass and threw it at the wall. It shattered in pieces falling around Ephram's sobbing body on the floor. Andy blinked as if just now noticing the state that his son was in he moved towards him. As Andy went to touch his son, he recoiled back. Andy himself had begun to cry. "I'm sorry Ephram.", and then he left.  
  
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Nina Feeny pulled into her driveway the same time as the Abotts pulled into the Browns' driveway. After letting Sam and Delia out of the car the three of them walked over to the family standing on the porch. "Good afternoon, Nina", Dr. Abbot cordially greeted them. "Hey," she replied, "Have they not answered the door yet?"  
  
"Nope," Bright said obviously not wanting to be there. "That's weird," Nina commented he said he'd be here. Did he know you were coming?", she asked as they stepped through the door.   
  
"No, I just kind of wanted to talk to him." Amy replied.   
  
"Ephram!!", Nina yelled, "are you here?"  
  
Nina was the first to walk into the kitchen, and was the first to see the broken mess of glass and boy on the floor. "Oh my God, Ephram," Nina gasped as she rushed to his side. "Ephram what happened?"  
  
Ephram didn't respond. He didn't even know if he could. The only think left inside him was a song playing as loud as it could drowning out everything else.  
  
~Catch me as I fall say you're here and it's all over now / Speaking to the atmosphere no one's here and I fall into myself~  
  
"Where did this blood come from? Dr. Abbot!", Nina shouted.  
  
~This truth drives me into madness I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away if I will it all away~  
  
"There's glass in his arm can we move him?", Dr. Abbot asked the shocked faces around him.  
  
~Don't turn away Don't give into the pain Don't try to hide Though they're screaming your name~  
  
Ephram could feel himself being lifted up, but the music continued to play.  
  
~Don't close your eyes God knows what lies behind them Don't turn out the light Never sleep never die~  
  
"See if he'll sit in a chair." Dr. Abbot commanded.  
  
~I'm frightened by what I see, but somehow I know that there's much more to come~  
  
"All right Ephram this is going to hurt a little," Dr. Abbot said as he began pulling out the pieces of glass from Ephram's wound.  
  
~Immoblized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears~  
  
Ephram didn't make a move throughout the whole process. He was numb to the world.  
  
~I can stop the pain if I will it all away. If I will it all away~  
  
"All done. Delia, do you know where some bandages are?"  
  
~Don't turn away don't give into the pain dont try to hide though they're screaming your name~  
  
Amy's eyes bored into his. Searching. He couldn't help but stare back.  
  
~Don't close your eyes God knows what lies behind them don't turn out the light never sleep never die~  
  
She saw a crack begin to break his glazed expression.  
  
~Fallen angels at my feet, whispered voices at my ear, death before my very eyes, lying next to me I fear~  
  
Amy reached for his hand. She grabbed it and felt his shell begin to melt under her touch.  
  
~She beckons me shall I give in, upon my end shall I begin, forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end~  
  
Ephram squeezed her hand as tears began to fall down both of their cheeks. " Ephram," Nina called gently, "can I get you anything?"  
  
"No I think I'm gonna go up to my room now.", he spoke softly. He gave Amy's hand a final squeeze and left the room.   
  
A/N: Review please! I'm begging you!! I need inspiration to coninue btw the song is whisper by evanescence. Thanks for reading! 


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